In the Journey.

I've been meaning to post here for a while, this blog feels a little like my own place in the universe, so I think I'm going to work on keeping it more alive.  If there is anything in this world I believe in, it is the journey.  Live the best life you can, by doing simply the best that you can do.  It's all we can do, right?
Well I'm 27 years old now, and with that philosophy, I have traveled to 19 countries, lived out of my home country for 5 years, learned a new language, had open heart surgery, died a few times, came back a few times, and maybe had a few more close calls.  I feel pretty happy with this life, even if I sometimes regard it as fiction -- it almost just seems as though it couldn't possibly be real.

Us human beings... perhaps us beings in general can be  both strong  and resilient, as well as fragile and delicate.  Life is perhaps the greatest oxymoron this universe has ever been faced with.  But perhaps that's what makes it so special. 
So just why am I writing all this?  I have no idea.  I currently find myself mid transit from my home of Ogaki/Godo in Gifu, currently headed towards Kobe to visit a beautiful soul in the universe:

(beautiful soul on the right)

 From Kobe, I will find myself journeying home to Baltimore, where I was born, within a week's time. I'm very excited to go back and see all my friends!   I love my life here in Japan.. but moving here was of course nothing like I expected.

I can remember the days when I was younger, and I dreamed of leaving.  I'd never even really been else where, aside from a few trips to the beach with my father and friends.  But I still dreamed of leaving. When I was 13, I had my first road trip, with some friends of a friends up to New York, saw my first concert - Type O Negative, at the Lamour, the club where they began.  A special memory for me.  At 14, I traveled to Ohio to visit an online friend for a few weeks.  I think between those two trips, I became quite addicted to the thrill of it all. 

With that said, I welcome you to the journey.  Enjoy some pictures of Cambodia last year:

 Out side the bungalow we stayed in!  Cambodia can be cheap.  $1 a night for a place to sleep, but beware the bedbugs.  Pay $2 a night for air conditioning and no bugs.

First encounter in Cambodia, Mika from China.  We later traveled to Laos together!

There's a jungle out there.

 Someone from my university had very recently stayed in the exact bungalow we stayed in!

 

Cambodians play chess.

Ankor Wat!!!

We could hear rain brushing through the trees, just as we had made our way under a roofed gate.  We waited, and then the rain.  This man came running over laughing to get out of the massive downpour laughing, and was quite shocked to see us.  He didn't speak English, so we shared a moment in silence under the roof as the rain fell.

The gate.

A pineapple!

A chicken!

And spiders, oh my!

Pretty.

Passion fruit.

 I volunteered to teach English at a Buddhist school in the country side.  Many great people there, and if anyone is interested in this experience, please contact me, and I will put you in contact with the school.

Breakfast.

Motorbike.

Cow.  Lesson for you:  The Khmer word for cow is Goh.

Tiny watermelons!!!

Rice.

Skulls left from the Killing Field.  Cambodian civil war of the 1970s.  

It was an excellent journey, and Cambodia was a beautiful country.  I could feel their struggle to grow in this world, they are trying very hard, I think more than any other countries I visited in the area in that part of the world.  There is a lot of hustle and bustle, which can be over whelming.  We almost got robbed by children in the woods -- children are your most dangerous opponents there, and it is a little sad to think about.  But they also need help to grow.  Children work from a very young age in Cambodia, which in most of our developed nations, is considered child labor, and is very illegal.  It's a difficult issue to think about, because the children I ran across working, did not seem to be suffering, they were selling.  There's a sense of responsibility that comes with it, I do believe, but I am by far not well enough versed in the topic to make a solid opinion.  I get the feeling there must be a balance between education and work.  

Responce to a media/politcal occurence.

Well, I've thought about posting in response to articles before, but this is the first time I sincerely am following through with it.  We'll see if one more response happens to find it's way here sometime.

I recently found this exchange:
http://www.thedailydolt.com/2013/06/03/megyn-kelly-debates-erick-erickson-gender-roles/
A conversation between Megyn Kelly(fox news) and Erick Erickson (conservative blogger with his own radio show: how?)
I felt sincerely pressed to say something.  Those who know where I come from may respect this more than others:

As a woman whom was raised by a single father, with no main female figure present in my life... As a woman that made her own way through college, moved her own ass half way around the world, and found her own damn place in this world.

As a woman that has spent her life believing that if a person tries their hardest, that person can make anything happen. And time and time again has proven that to herself. As a woman that has done everything in her power to make the biggest and most ever lasting footprint in this world that she can, through the means that she sees as powerful.

As a woman that became a teacher and a mentor. As a woman that travels around the world and makes new friends every chance she gets. As a woman that believes in discussing problems and not hiding them under a rug. As a woman that is happy in this world as who she is.

As a woman that grew up with close friends in households following this man's idea of "an ideal family." Families that stayed together only because "it was good for the kids" Despite abusive and unhappy environments. Friends that were miserable at home, and wanted nothing more than to escape.  Friends that even to this day have a difficult time escaping that kind of environment -- but even still, find themselves fighting against becoming that person(s) that raised them. Friends that have struggled their whole lives because of the environments they were placed in.

Personally, I feel like one of the luckiest people to be alive on this planet to be raised in the unique way that I was. I came from a single father, and I came from creativity.  I became the creativity that was enveloped around me as a child. I spread my wings to every corner of this Earth that I could reach, and continue to do so, with a bright smile on my face. Not because society tells me to do so, but because dammit if I don't love seeing another person smile back at me.

As a human being that has talked to many older folks in our world, as well as to many children of folks that are now older in this world - about lives at home (After all, it's an interesting thing to hear about!). As a person that has learned from the sentiments of the older -- that it is a pretty common occurrence for women whom spent their lives as stay at home moms, to have felt as if they were a null part of society -- unimportant. Where as many of the older human beings I know in general, man or woman, whom have done their best to live the lives that they personally believed would be interesting, exciting, happy, healthy.  Lives that are often incredibly unconventional. Lives of artists and writers -- my parents. Lives of shopkeepers and hard workers - my neighborhood. Lives of nomads - the origins of where we come from, a calling which rung deep in my heart.  Lives of people that weren't afraid to take a stand against the conventional. These are the happiest people I have known in my life, and while I am not religious, there may be no stronger way to express than to simply say that I feel blessed for the life I have been given with my single father in our crazy little town -- and you can damn bet it was and still is a crazy little town.

As a woman that isn't afraid to speak about where I come from and call it my home: I call this man the biggest walking and talking piece of shit I've ever heard in my life. Family is indeed important, you won't see me disagree that a child needs a family... a community as well if you ask me: that old saying: It takes a village to raise a child -- it's truth in my heart. I know from first hand experience, that the factors of a family come in so many different shapes and sizes. And to try and limit that to one size fits all, is *exactly* to limit a human's ability to live a happy, healthy, and successful life.

The Kindergarten Life.

At the end of the day, I come home, and I feel very pleased with the day I've had.  Today is especially so.  I've been teaching at Kindergarten in Japan for two years now, and today was the last day at one of my schools for this school year.  Today we had an お別れ会 (owakarekai) , which is a ceremony for the oldest kids that are moving on.  I performed on my cello, and received this amazing present.

Shoutoku Taishi - things near by.

For those that are curious, I live out in the middle of nowhere.  It's really quite beautiful.  Today I went out biking and hiking.  These pictures are mostly from a mountain in Ono Chou, a town that is about an hour and a half bike ride from me.

 The  path is filled with ancient graves of Daimyo - land owners of the past(last picture)

 The nature is beautiful.  Now that it's fall, the leaves are starting to change colors.  The statue here is of Shoutoku Taishi, an emperor from around 600 AD, known especially for his Buddhist activities.  He has had a bit of a cult following over the centuries.

The woods are filled with these cool wood carvings. I'm pretty sure all the cool people hang out in the mountains.  I've seen skateboarders, shamisen players, and there are wood carvers too.  Nature is a truly awesome!

Thoughts on the political opinion and life.

So, it's a few days before election day in the United States, and I haven't really said that much about politics in general, this election campaign.  It's strange how moving away can effect how we think about things -- I used to be an incredibly political being.  I still feel pretty strong in my opinions, but  those opinions seem less critical in my life since I live so far away from it now.

I'm not really interested in starting wars, or creating divides over political opinions and differences.  We think differently based on the way we were raised, and the experiences we have, all sorts of things.  And that's cool, as long as we maintain a basic respect for each other, that's what's important as human beings. I've met people from all over the world, and I know that we are all raised with different ideas.  If we don't share them, and find away away to live with them, we stand no chance of growing. 

For whatever it is worth, I want to say I do still think about this election, about any election, about politics in general.  Issues that affect the majority of people in the country, issues that affect the way we are treated and allowed to treat other people, what we as citizens are allowed to do, and what those as businesses, cops, etc are allowed that are different (which I really cannot understand how they have such special treatment), how we are allowed to treat the Earth, what we are allowed/made to eat, how the ideas of children are allowed/made to be influenced in school system, how important that education from the school system is made to be in our lives, and how much our lives are affected by the type of education we receive.  These are some of the things I think about.

I haven't talked much about my personal philosophies lately, but I just wanted to share a bit about the core of my self for once.

My personal motto has always been:  If it isn't hurting anyone else, why should it be a problem?   In terms of physical attacks, this is a given.  In regards to treatment dependent on race, gender, sexual orientation, this should be a given.  And when it comes to how words are used, it becomes a complicated battle with freedom of speech... but shouldn't we do our best to have a basic respect for each other as human beings?  I have seen people I love and respect, say that they would throw away old friends, based on their different beliefs.  People that I really couldn't imagine saying such a thing.  I guess since I am not in the US, I cannot feel the pain to such the extent that they are, but I cannot understand banning someone from existing in my life, just because of different views.


I say this from the core of who I am.  I have spent my whole life being battled by people who didn't like me for some reason or another.  Growing up in my neighborhood, in my school, there were just two other white kids, and I faced very heavy racism.  I faced derogatory statements about most aspects of my life.  About my race, about being poor, about being dirty, about being gay... even before I knew I was attracted to the same gender.  People made up anything they could to hurt me.

And they did hurt me.  I was a young child, and I hated this world.  I hated it so much, I didn't want to be a part of it, that bullying led me to be a very sad human being.  I left school, I couldn't focus on anything, the entire world unraveled in my mind.  I tried desperate things to get out of my life, but never succeeded, and felt like a failure in that too.  I felt like a weak human being, and I felt like I didn't deserve to live.

I was one of the lucky ones that managed to survive it.  I was one of the lucky ones that found a way to grow stronger.  It took a lot of things to reach the point where I could grow stronger.  As a young girl being bullied, I couldn't understand why I would be bullied, it felt unfair and cruel, and I couldn't cope with it.  It took losing my only family to death, and going homeless, not knowing what future I had, to realize how much I wanted to live.

There's a lot of details here I could tell you.  What it's like losing someone at 18.. the world expects you are ready to take care of yourself, so you don't get any assistance.  What it's like, not knowing where you'll be the next week.. I was lucky enough to have temporary places to be, but my main base was very isolating.
What it's like losing the strongest influence in your life.  Nothing has affected me more than this.  It changed me to want to be the girl that could over come things.  I did it because I couldn't be the girl that just died in the shadow of my father.  I saw what an amazing human being he was, and felt more respect than ever.  I wanted to become the best human being I could, I wanted to make sure that he would never be forgotten.  I wanted to grow stronger, and try harder than I ever had before.
It took so much pain, and so much change to reach that point.  Much more than should be necessary for any child, any human being to have to deal with.  For this reason, I believe we really need to respect each other as human beings.
In the end, I refuse to run away from being the odd one out.  I learned a new language, I moved to a new country, I live as a minority, and I influence young children in my life to respect foreigners.  I do the best I can to help out, and even if sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing enough, I do the best I can to try and be a part of things.  I believe that it can be so easy for us to accept one another, so why don't we?  That doesn't mean we have to be best friends, but it does mean, that we can accept that we are different.  Not just in appearance, but I mean also in ideas. 

Perhaps I trailed off there, I don't know.  What I really wanted to say, is why respect is so important to me.  Why I'm not willing to reject anyone that is willing to accept me.   Why I don't believe that being different should mean that we can't get along... because sometimes we are different, and there is just no helping it, it should be a beautiful thing, not something that leads to pain, sadness, and death.

What does this have to do with politics?  Maybe nothing, maybe everything, more likely, just something.  I can't say that I don't worry about the United States if Romney were to become president.  I've seen him lie, and I don't expect a fair election.  I can't believe he's even plausible for a presidential candidate at this point.  I honestly hope and believe with all my heart that Obama will win, and that his existence helps to change things in a good direction. But even if for whatever reason you have, you like Romney, I understand it's based on our different experiences.  Just know that I'm not hear to hate you or say that you're wrong.  I'm not here to insult you, even if I can't understand everything about you.  And in return for that, I hope that you can respect me too, as a fellow human being, as a fellow living creature, even if that is all that we share in common.